When Harry Met Sally...

When Harry Met Sally…

1989

Director: Ron Reiner

Writer: Nora Ephron

96 Minutes

In the beginning, they weren’t friends. In the middle, they were friends. In the end, they were together.

But, nothing compares to this dialog in this film, especially below:

Harry: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry: I guess not.


This is the entire theme of the movie laid out after a very character-explaining diner scene, compliments to both director Ron Reiner (who represents Harry) and writer Nora Ephron (who represents Sally) for inspiring each other.

But, the scene pictured above is later in the film. Sally (Meg Ryan) has just received a hello-how-you-doing phone call from her x-fiancée and found he is getting married. Immediately, she calls Harry (Billy Crystal) who rushes over.

They discuss the situation, while Sally cries about not wanting him, but her wanting him to want her. Harry listens and offers condolences. And then she explains this:

Sally: AND, I'm gonna be forty.
Harry: When?
Sally: Someday.
Harry: In eight years.

This is classic dialog, but what happens next to most important. They have sex. No cafe fake orgasms here. Sex. Nookie. Bumping Uglies. Slap and Tickle. Knobbing. Stuffing the Turkey. Sex. Afterwards, Harry looks frighten, while Sally couldn’t be more comfortable. This scene gives the answer to the question above…

…No, men and women can’t be friends.

Having sex to Harry and Sally was the death of their friendship. It changed everything. It meant something to one. It meant nothing to the other. Their friendship is over.

When Harry met Sally, he knew they couldn’t be friends. When they met again, Sally indicates she wanted more than friendship. In the end, they can't be friend, though they can be much more than friends.

This story all comes down to Harry realizing it WAS that much more. And when he does, he runs the streets of New York City to a New Years Party he attended the previous year to tell Sally, “when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want to the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Hats off to Rob Reiner and Nora Ephron for putting together a great film. And not to ruin anything for you, but those older couples that help segway through the years of Harry and Sally’s relationship are just actors; two strangers that never before met until they filmed their scenes that day.

The real couples weren’t as believable enough.

Cheers to love.