Bring it On

2000

Director: Payton Reed

Writer: Jessica Bendinger

98 Minutes

Torrance Shipman (Kirsten Dunst) becomes the captain of the Rancho Carne High School Torros cheerleader squad only to discover the previous captain stole their cheers and Torrance has to rework their routine before the National Championships. 

It's of note that Kirsten Dunst and Gabreille Union were cheerleaders in high school. Eliza Dushku was not, which seems fitting. 

This monster hit brought in more than 90 million at the box office launching five sequels including Bring it On Again, All or Nothing, In It to Win It, Fight to the Finish, and Worldwide Cheersmack with an upcoming Bring it On: Cheer or Die releasing in 2022. The unrepresented genre of cheerleading films came hard with this franchise and opened the world up to cheerleading as a sport past the football fields and basketball courts. 

But at the heart of the first film, Torrance loves Cliff (Jesse Bradford), but doesn't know it yet. She has a shitty college boyfriend who is away at school and doesn't believe in her talents, which opens Torrance up to a forbidden love affair with her friend's brother. When she sleeps over at Missy's house, the scene above plays out. 

It's simple. It's subtle. Two people brushing their teeth. No words. A few smiles. They both glance. They spit. They keep brushing. They smile. They share a moment. 

This was the very last scene to be filmed, either because it was the last scene to filmed or they needed another moment between Torrance and Cliff. Sure, Torrance witnesses Cliff's rock & roll antics in his room and his playful banter alludes to his affection of her, but the scene above speaks to their connection. 

And that's what we want in cinema, right? We want to see characters connect, even if they're not supposed too. Here it's done brilliantly with no dialog, no special effects, no fuss. It's just two people brushing their teeth, except it's so much more. 

They really brought it. 

It's moments like this that makes Bring it On still hold up. Like most great films, it's not about the subject at hand, but the connection between two people. Yes, we love the routines at the end of the film, we love the respect between captains, and we love that Torrance breaks the curse. But in the end, it's all about two people brushing their teeth. 

Weirdly, we never find out what Big Red's real name. Probably because it's not a democracy, it's a cheerocracy. 

Spirit Fingers!

Charlie Wilson's War

Charlie Wilson's War

2007

Director: Mike Nichols

Writer: Aaron Sorkin (screenplay), George Crile (book)

102 Minutes

This was the final film of Mike Nichols. His filmography, including The Graduate, Birdcage, Working Girl, Closer, Biloxi Blues, is Hollywood history. But this collaboration between Nichols and Oscar-winning screenwriter Aaron Sorkin was American history and spoke about a conflict that used allies who became enemies.

Charlie Wilson's War is about a Texas Congressman who raises funds to arm the Afghan people to fight off the Soviets at the end of the Cold War. Wilson was a lame duck, but this task solidified his name both here and abroad. After the Soviet retreat, Wilson was the first civilian awarded the CIA's Honored Colleague Award and went onto become a lobbyist for Pakistan.

The original script for Charlie Wilson's War was supposed to end with the 9/11 attacks. The connection between arming the Afghan people to the birth of the Taliban was clear, but this plotline was vetoed by Nichols and lead Tom Hanks.

Instead, we have the scene above where Gust Avrakotos (the late Phillip Seymour Hoffman) briefs Charlie Wilson (Tom Hanks) on the new situation in Afghanistan after their operation is complete. Here is the scene:

Gust 

There's a little boy and on his 14th birthday he gets a horse... and everybody in the village says, "how wonderful. The boy got a horse" And the Zen master says, "we'll see." Two years later, the boy falls off the horse, breaks his leg, and everyone in the village says, "How terrible." And the Zen master says, "We'll see." Then, a war breaks out and all the young men have to go off and fight... except the boy can't cause his legs all messed up. and everybody in the village says, "How wonderful." 

Charlie

Now the Zen master says, "We'll see." 

The Zen master knows that change is based on perspective and timing. After this exchange, Gust hands Charlie a CIA classified document and tells him the shit is hitting the fan in Afghanistan. This "shit" in reference is the creation of the Taliban. The Taliban would later go onto attack the World Trade Center, Pentagon, and a failed attempt of the White House.

The reason this scene is special is the soundbite. A plane overhead. It's at the exact time the Zen master's message of "we'll see" hits Charlie meaning his war was great for now, but we'll see what happens. And what happens is 9/11. The plane soundbite is the keystone to that meaning.

These subtle moments in cinema are everywhere. If you pay close attention, it's like the director leaning over and whispering a secret in your ear. The great directors know their stories and where to put these moments, but this piece of American history echoes in the darkness of a soundbite.

Cheers to the late Charlie Wilson. I'll have a drink or six for you tonight. Though flawed, Charlie heroics is based on doing the right thing when no one is looking and he did that.

But we'll see.

American History X

American History X

1998

Director: Tony Kaye

Writer: David McKenna

119 Minutes

The curb scene. The scrapping of teeth on cement. A kick to the back of the head. The wide-eyed reveal of a character so hateful and unremorseful to his actions.

This is the scene most people remember from American History X. It’s a story of racism, white supremacy, and regret.

It’s a story of change.

Told in a stylistic manner, a balance between past and present, Derek (Edward Norton) reunites with his family after a short stint in prison to find his brother, Danny (Edward Furlong), following his path of foolishness.

Danny’s homework assignment is to write a paper about his Derek's release from prison for his new class American History X. In the paper, he comes to the conclusion that it wasn’t his father’s death that sparked hatred in his brother, but his father himself.

But change occurs for both bothers.

In the scene above, Derek told his story to Danny – a story of prison, hypocrisy, rape, and friendship – and Danny finally gets it. Derek showers off the night. When Derek exits and looks in the mirror, he stares at the swastika on his chest. He stares at his past. He stares at his mistakes.

In a moment, he covers it up with his hand. He regrets ever believing in such nonsense. He regrets the choices he made. He regrets a kick to the back of the head.

The opening and closing images of the ocean – one black & white and one color – says it all. The ocean has no memory (Shawshank Redemption).

In the end, this film is as controversial as they come. It’s theme is something no one cares to talk about at parties, but is on the forefront of many ideals people continue to believe.

Racism and regret.

On March 4th, 1961 Abraham Lincoln said this in his first inaugural address, which happens to be the closing voice-over to this fantastic film:

“We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.”

And as of yet, not much as changed since then in the face of racism and regret.

Not much at all.

Best in Show

Best in Show

2000

Director: Christopher Guest

Writer: Christopher Guest and Eugene Levy

90 Minutes

Everyone loves dogs. There are apart of the American culture like apple pie, baseball games, and political corruption.

Years before Best in Show was made, writer/director Christopher Guest wrote down “catalog people” on a piece of paper. This eventually became the inspiration for the characters Meg Swan (Parker Posey) and Hamilton Swan (Michael Hitchcock) who are featured above.

Meg and Hamilton are dog owners who enjoy Starbucks, J Crew, and the Busy Bee. There are yuppies. They are lawyers. They have it all figured out, except for one thing: their dog has issues.

It once saw them having sex and was never the same.

They have tried therapy. They have tried love. They have tired toys. Nothing worked. When their dog enters the Mayflower Kennel Club Dog Show, they are disqualified when their dog jumps at one of the judges.

Embarrassment cannot express their feelings, but this act made them realize their dog was the problem. Not them. Their dog was the cause of all their issues. Their dog negatively affected their lives. And their dog had to go.

In the scene above, the Swan’s are back in therapy, except with a new dog. A dog that likes them having sex. A dog that doesn’t have issues. And a dog that loves it’s mommy and daddy.

This is why people love this film: it shows how unbelievable ridiculous people can be about their dogs. It mirrors the majority of dog owners in American and throws humor at people’s obsession over their pets.

Everyone can relate, even if you've never owned a dog.

Christopher Guest has a genius way of making films. It lets the camera roll, gives small details towards the story, and lets improv magic run. He has made films about dogs, the film business, folk singers, and the greatest band in history: Spinal Tap. He is an accomplished actor, writer, director, producer, and musician.

But at the heart of his films, he realizes people can relate and laugh at themselves through characters like, “catalog people.” We all know them, shared holidays with them, and leave parties going, “are they a little crazy over their dog or is it me?”

I think we’ve all said that at one time or another and this film helps us laugh about it.

Twleve Angry Men

12 Angry Men

1957

Director: Sidney Lumet

Writer: Reginald Rose

96 Minutes

What is justice? What is reasonable doubt? What if a young man’s life hung on your decision of guilty or not guilty?

Shot in one room for twenty days for 350,000 dollars to get a film that is apart of every top 100 best film list and regarded by law and business schools as a model for conflict resolution.

But why is this film one of the greats? Why does audiences love this film?

Because the main character, Juror#8 (Henry Fonda), has honor. Because when faced against the odds and the majority of angry men, he raises his hand and said, “I don’t know.”

Because he was a hero.

His heroics were not on the battlefield or in an operating room. He stood in a room with eleven other men and dissected an open-and-shut case to prove doubt. It’s not that he thought the accused wasn’t guilty. It’s not that he had a point.

He just didn’t know.

In the scene above, Juror#8 and Juror#9 meet outside on the courthouse steps. The verdict has been returned. Case is over. And these two can leave with a clear conscious knowing they were the first two to stand up and say, “not guilty.”

But before going their separate ways, Juror#9 asks for Juror#8’s name.

“Davis”
“McCardle”

That sign of respect is the entire film.

Davis led these angry men to a not guilty verdict and saved a young man’s life. He was innocent until proved guilty, yet without Davis leading the charge, no one would have questioned it. All the evidence was against him. All the remaining jurors were ready to convict.

But it took a hero to rise up and say, “I don’t know.”

In the end, it’s that type of honor that makes this film enjoyable. It’s that type of honor that explains what is right and what is wrong, not only in the courtroom, but in life. And it’s that type of honor that can only be exchanged with a handshake and a first name.

Davis.

Annie Hall

Annie Hall

1977

Director: Woody Allen

Writer: Woody Allen and Marshall Brickman

93 Minutes

Originally, this film was called Anhedonia. It means the inability to feel pleasure, a philosophy Woody Allen related to most of his life.

Annie Hall is about relationships. It’s about love and loss and moving on.

“A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.”

It’s one of Woody Allen’s best included into a writer/director resume with such films as Match Point, Manhattan, and the recent Midnight in Paris.

In the scene above, Alvy (Woody Allen) talks with Annie (Diane Keaton) about photography. Much like a first date/encounter conversation, these two are talking about one subject, but thinking about another.

It’s all subtext, which Allen does brilliantly with subtitles.

When Annie says, “Aesthetic criteria? You mean whether is a good photo or not?” But, what she’s thinking is: I’m not smart enough for him. Hang in here.

Alvy replies, “The medium enters in as a condition of the art form itself. “ But he’s thinking is: I wonder what she looks like naked.

What we say and what we think are often two different ideas when talking with the opposite sex. We want to appear interesting. We want to appear desirable, yet we are often neither. And when conversation is pouring out of us, we often wonder what the other person is thinking, how the other person feels, or what that person looks like naked.

And Allen’s stroke of genius placing subtitles in the form of thoughts is why we love this scene.

We all have been there. And we can all relate. And no one does it better than Woody Allen.

This film, its theme, and its message cannot be explained by one scene. It’s a collection of instances and stories and ideas and feelings that make this a great film. It’s heartbreaking and cute and fun and true.

And that's why it won four Academy Awards.

But in the end, Allen leaves with you a quote about relationships that rings true for everyone who has ever loved and lost and moved on:

“After that it got pretty late, and we both had to go, but it was great seeing Annie again. I... I realized what a terrific person she was, and... and how much fun it was just knowing her; and I... I, I thought of that old joke, y'know, the, this... this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, uh, my brother's crazy; he thinks he's a chicken." And, uh, the doctor says, "Well, why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "I would, but I need the eggs." Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y'know, they're totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and... but, uh, I guess we keep goin' through it because, uh, most of us... need the eggs.”

Anhedonia means the inability to feel pleasure. But, Mr. Allen has pleased hundreds of millions of people with his films.

And he continues today.

Conversations with Other Women

Conversations with Other Women

Director: Hans Canosa

Writer: Gabirelle Zevin

84 Minutes

Two lovers who can’t be together.

We have seen this a hundred times before in every romantic film from Casablanca to Brokeback Mountain. When you have loved and lost and reunited with love, it always makes for an interesting story.

In Conversations with Other Women, they do it a little differently. They use a split screen between the two characters, interweaving dialog with past memories, and different actions each character could take.

In the end, there is love. But it’s lost love, love that cannot be had, and love that will never see the light of day.

They have one night in a hotel room.

In the scene above, Man (Aaron Eckhart) listens in on Woman’s (Helena Bonham Carter) phone conversation to her husband. Man also has a girlfriend, but she doesn’t seem much concern. Man listens in, trying to find moments of love in the conversation, but secretly searching for why their relationship failed.

He loves her. He admits it. He wants to make it work. He loved her in the past. He loves her today. He sees their future together, though it will never happen.

Her love has gone away. It’s the past. And though they have one night of romance, discussing where their lives had gone, and reliving memories of love, reality catches up and she knows their lives go in separate directions.

It’s a real movie, which could explain why so many of us haven’t seen it. The film’s theme discusses the fundamental truth of loving and losing and reuniting and ending.

This is the ending.

It could have been a second chance, but life has pasted them by. Perhaps both man and woman’s past relationship would have ended up in the same place their current relationships lye. Perhaps it would have worked out better. Perhaps worse.

But we’ll never know. These two have one night to let it out, explain their truths, and leave it on the table.

He loves her. She doesn’t love him. Or if she does love him, she settles for life without him.

When the morning comes, all they have is an empty seat in the back of a taxi and a plane to catch.

But there is a moment:

Man: Why did you come, really?
Woman: Do you want me to say I was hoping I'd see you?
Man: Yes and I want you to mean it.
Woman: You're so romantic...
Man: By romantic, you mean old fashioned?
Woman: No, by romantic, I mean romantic.

Like I said, two lovers who can’t be together. We’ve seen it a hundred times before, yet it's always going to make for an interesting story.

SKS

The Replacements

The Replacements

2000

Director: Howard Deutch

Writer: Vince McKewin

118 Minutes

In 1987, the National Football League used replacement players for weeks four, five, and six of the regular season. In week seven, veteran players crossed the line and the replacement players were let go once again. But for one night, they were heroes.

Shane Falco is a hero.

In the film The Replacements, Jimmy McGinty (Gene Hackman) is the coach of the Washington Sentinels. When his veteran players strike, McGinty hires replacement players lead by former Ohio State Quarterback Shane Falco (Keanu Reeves).

Simple. High concept. Fun.

But, there was heart to this film. There was meaning. It was a film for everyone that ever played sports and longed for their one-time shot to play again. It was a film for sports fans that wish their favorite players would play with heart instead of playing for their wallets. And it was a film for anyone who’s been apart of a great team that came to an end.

The film stars Reeves, Hackman, Orlando Jones, Jon Favreau, Rhys Lfans, and John Madden.

In the scene above, the replacement players are told the veteran players have crossed and tonight is their last night playing in the NFL. The team is down 14 to 17, with the ball, late in the forth quarter. And they have Shane Falco, who dressed during half time when their starting quarterback didn’t have enough heart.

Shane huddles the team up and says, “I know you’re tired. I know you’re hurting. I wish I could say something that was classy and inspirational, but that just wouldn’t be our style.”

He follows with this, “…Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory lasts forever.”

When you know it’s over, that’s all you need to hear. It means whatever you have left should be left on the field. There is no tomorrow. There is only tonight. And tonight, we can be heroes.

This is why we love films like The Replacement and Varsity Blues. These are films of heroics. They aren't advancing on a beachhead or flying in an A-10 warthog, but they are heroes because they stand up for what they believe in and leave it all on the field.

And when given a second chance, none of them wasted it.

In the time of salary caps, lockouts, and bonuses, we need films like these to remind us how great sports can be and how at the heart of each game, there are heroes. It's not about the money. It's not about cars, houses, and girls. It's about football. And Shane Falco let them know that.

Like I said, he is a hero.

McGinty says it best, “When the Washington Sentinels left the stadium that day, there was no tickertape parade, no endorsement deals for sneakers or soda pop or breakfast cereal. Just a locker to be cleaned out and a ride home to catch. But what they didn't know, was that their lives had been changed forever because they had been part of something great. And greatness, no matter how brief, stays with a man. Every athlete dreams of a second chance, these men lived it.”

In the end, glory lasts forever.

The Departed

The Departed

2006

Director: Martin Scorsese

Writer: William Monahan, Alan Mak, and Felix Chong

151 Minutes

In 1991, there was uproar in the film community about Martin Scorsese losing “Best Director” and “Best Picture” to Kevin Costner for Dances with Wolves. Scorsese admitted that Dances with Wolves was more academy appropriate, but he would continue to make films.

Fifteen years later, Scorsese took home his first Academy Award for “Best Director – The Departed.” He has had a great career full of blockbusters, presidential assignations, and a bit on Curb Your enthusiasm.

He never needed an Oscar, but it was well deserved.

The Departed is about the corruption within the Massachusetts State Police and organized crime in the city of Boston. The cast of characters includes DiCapiro, Damon, Nicholson, Wahlberg, Sheen, Baldwin, and the ever-so-sexy Vera Farminga. It was a remake from the 2002 film Infernal Affairs, which their rights were purchased for just under two million dollars.

The Departed went on to gross 289 million dollars worldwide, receiving four Oscars, and had a body count of 22 people.

Not bad, Mr. Scorsese.

In the scene above, Colin Sullivan (Matt Damon) shoots Barrigan (James Badge Dale) in the head after Barrigan shot both Brown (Anthony Anderson) and Billy (Leonardo DiCaprio). It’s shit show. It’s a blood bath. It’s what wins Oscars.

Everyone dies. Everyone should die. No one is good. Everyone is corrupt. Thus, everyone dies.

But the reason why this scene is important is because you know why everyone is killed. They all had reasons. Barrigan was working for Costello (Jack Nicholson), thus he shoots Billy. Brown walked into a murder scene that had an infinite amount of questions, thus Barrigan shoots him. Sullivan shoots Barrigan because if there are no witnesses, there would be only one story to tell.

And Billy was shot because we weren’t expecting it. BOOM. I mean, who shoots Leonardo DiCaprio in the face?

Martin Scorsese does.

But it was exciting. It was a fun. And it was an entertaining film. It was jammed packed with celebrities, brilliant writing, and great direction. This film came together perfectly, which is why it received not only the Academies approval, but the box office as well.

And Mr. Scorsese, it was a long fifteen years for one of the most celebrated directors in history to gain his prize. Bravo, sir.

In the end, I leave you with this:

“When you decide to be something, you can be it. That's what they don't tell you in the church. When I was your age they would say we can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?” – Frank Costello

It’s true. What’s the difference.?

Love Actually

Love Actually

2003

Director: Richard Curtis

Writer: Richard Curtis

123 Minutes

First-time director Richard Curtis loves love. He is famous for writing such films as Bridget Jones’s Diary, Notting Hill, and Four Weddings and a Funeral. For his next project, Curtis took long walks on his vacation in Bali and would come up with a new story everyday.

Those stories eventually became Love Actually.

Love Actually has an ensemble cast, including Colin Firth, Liam Neeson, Emma Thompson, Keira Knightley, Hugh Grant, and Laura Linney, which their characters interact with each other revolving around the theme of love. You have forbidden love, erotic love, hopeless-romantic love, lost love, brotherly love, young love, etc.

Then Curtis added Christmas into the mix. It’s just…unfair.

Each of these characters has highs, lows, midpoints, low-points, and climatic scenes about love. But in the end, all they wanted for Christmas was you.

In the scene above, Sam (Thomas Sangster) has been in love with Joanna (Olivia Olson) for the entire film. It’s the reason he is not sad about his mother’s death. It’s the reason he learned to play drums. It’s the reason for living.

Though we haven’t met Joanna until this scene, we know she’s one in a million. When the lights dim on the Christmas pageant and the majority of characters are present in the audience, Joanna takes stage.

The opening to her song, which she sings a cappella, is breathtaking. The characters are stunned. The audience is stunned. But we now see why Sam loves his girl.

But it’s the song: All I Want For Christmas is You.

It’s the meaning of the film. It’s why we love this film. We all want to be with the ones we love at Christmas - whether it be friends, family, new lovers, old lovers, or someone you met that day as a naked body double on a film set.

Love and Christmas. Like I said, unfair.

In the end, there were so many moments in this film that you walk away saying, “…that was great.” It’s because Love Actually is a great film. You have Colin traveling to Wisconsin to find American girls. The Prime Minister kissing Natalie in front an entire audience. Mr. Bean. Billy Mack. Billy Bob. You have lovers learning languages. Candid shots of real people at Heathrow Airport. And you have a man standing in front of his love with nothing but written cards and false hope.

But there is love. In life, that might be all you need. And at Christmas, that’s all you want.

Fight Club

Fight Club

1999

Director: David Fincher

Screenplay: Jim Uhls

139 Minutes

Fight Club is a philosophical film. It holds wisdom far beyond our grandparent’s reach and sets a standard for humanity’s actions against itself.

But, it all started with Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt).

For the quotes, wisdom, philosophy placed within the actions and dialog of this film, it came at a time when people needed an escape. We bought our happiness. We paid our dues. And we were ants marching on a log heading closer to our ultimate demise. Then this film came out:

“Welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is…”

And with it, Tyler changed lives. He inspired people to stand on the wall. And he gave meaning to hundreds of people that had no purpose. He was an alter-ago. He was a man’s man. And he was everything we wanted to be, then and now.

“All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.”

In the scene above, Tyler is discussing materialistic goods with the Narrator (Edward Norton). Tyler mentions, “The things you own end up owning you.” This then leads to Narrator’s apartment exploding. This leads to moving in with Tyler. And that leads to Fight Club.

But every second of this film is Tyler. We follow the Narrator, but Tyler is our hero. And heroes get the best dialog:

“You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.”

And

“It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.”

And

“Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing. Like the first monkey shot into space.”

And

“Self improvement is masturbation”

And finally:

“How much can you know yourself if you've never been in a fight?”

In the end, Fight Club is epic. It was an epic shooting schedule of 138 days with over 300 scenes shot on 200 locations. Director David Fincher, who is notorious for doing numerous takes, had Brad Pitt and Edward Nortan do 38 takes in Lou’s Bar after Narrator’s apartment blew up. And with a 71 million dollars budget, you get one of the greatest films in the history of cinema.

But the quote of the film, having no philosophical involvement, goes to Marla Singer (Helena Bonham Carter) during the pillow-talk scene.

The studio wanted to the original line “I want to have your abortion” cut, thus Fincher made a deal he would cut that line, but the replacement line couldn’t be cut.

Fox Studio’s agreed, thus Marla says, ‘I haven’t been fucking like since grade school.”

And she has Tyler to thank for it.

Coming to America

Coming to America

1988

Director: John Landis

Writers: David Sheffield and Barry Blaustein

116 Minutes

There is nothing better than Eddie Murphy walking around the streets of Queens singing Jackie Wilson's, “To Be Loved,” while the neighbors scream obscenities.

Or Eddie Murphy saying, “Good Morning, my neighbors,” while the neighbors scream obscenities. Or Eddie Murphy playing Saul, Randy Watson, Clarence screaming obscenities.

In short, this movie is Eddie Murphy. And we want him screaming obscenities.

Coming to America is about a young prince who rejects his chosen bride, ventures past his kingdom, and finds his Queen…in Queens, New York.

But there is heart to this familiar story. Prince Akeem wants a woman to love him for himself, not for money or fame. Thus, he disguises himself as an average person to find his queen. The elements from hundreds of great stories can be found laced within this romantic comedy.

And it’s brilliant.

In the scene above, Akeem works at a local fast-food restaurant called McDowell’s. When a hold-up man (Samuel L. Jackson) enters to rob the joint, everyone freezes. Everyone except Akeem. Slowly, Akeem loosens his mop handle, excuses himself, and approaches the hold-up man, and this is how it goes down:

It would be wise for you to put the weapon down.
Who the fuck is this asshole?
Please refrain from using any other obscenities in the presents of these people.
What?
I’ve warned you. I’ll be forced to thrash you.
Fuck you.

Akeem thrashes, trips him to the ground, while his friend and loyal subject Semmi (Arsenio Hall) grabs the shotgun and says, “Freeze! You disease rhinoceros’s pizzal.”

Akeem is a hero and only after jacking up Samuel L. Jackson does his Queen-to-Be notice him.

But this is why we go to movies. This is what movies used to be. They were fun. Fun dialog and obscenities. Fun thrashing. And two fun heroes.

In short, we want Eddie Murphy from the 1980’s.

Sadly, we are left with the Eddie Murphy in the 2000’s that brought us Norbit, Pluto Nash, and Doctor Dolittle. He got older. He had kids. And screaming obscenities doesn’t sell in the 2000’s like it did in the 1980’s.

But it should, GOD DAMMIT!

Coming to America is a film that should never be remade. It shouldn’t be studied in film classes, nor frowned upon by a rated-R rating.

It should be enjoyed. Eddie Murphy should be enjoyed. And bathing like the Prince of Zamunda should be enjoyed.

And while you're in the clapping mood, I'd like to introduce my band: Sexual Chocolate.

The Lion King

The Lion King

1994

Director: Roger Allers and Rob Minkoff

Writers: Irene Mechhi, Jonathan Roberts, Linda Woolverton, etc.

89 Minutes

The Lion King is one of Disney’s best. It holds rank with such films as Snow White, Streamboat Willy, and the Toy Story franchise. Even though it took over twenty-five writers (Disney’s consistently uses handfuls of writers to complete a film) to assemble the story and additional material, this film ranks as one of the best-animated films ever created.

And Hakuna Matata means no worries.

The Lion King is a story about a young prince named Simba. When his father is killed, Simba (Jonathan Taylor Thomas) leaves the pride lands and is considered dead by his friends and family. When his soul mate Nala (Moira Kelly) finds the adult Simba (Matthew Broderick) alive, she convinces him to return to the pride lands and take back his kingdom.

Simple, direct, and it was best selling home video of all time with 55 million copies sold to date.

In the scene above, Mufasa (James Earl Jones), Simba’s father, is killed trying to save his son. When Simba discovers his body, Mufasa’s brother Scar (Jeremy Irons) tells Simba that he is to blame for this accident. Scar tells him to run away, while he sends hyenas to kill the young cub.

Simba escapes the hyenas, but ventures into the unknown world – a world where you eat bugs.

This is a coming-of-age story and without Simba’s departure and prodigal son return, Simba couldn’t have come-of-age. He would have been dead or unchanged. Leaving your home, meeting his new friends, and growing into a man is what this film explains and explores.

Boyhood to manhood.

This is a common story. A heroes journey. Simba is not unlike any of us at a young age. He is bright, clever, and curious. He represents us. Once he grows up, he fights for what is right in the world. Like I said, he represents us.

The Lion King is an “us” film. We see ourselves in this story much like Simba sees his father in himself. That’s why we loved his film. It resonates deep within our subconscious and explains who we are in the world. We have been lost or scared after losing a parent. We have avoided our responsibility at one time. And we have fought for what's rightfully ours.

We have all been Simba. And right, wrong, good, bad, or indifferent, Simba was a hero.

And we are all heroes - right, wrong, good, bad or indifferent.

The Lion King spawned sequels, books, and a musical because it’s subject matter. It hit home with audiences. With a great soundtrack and outstanding visual effects, The Lion King deserved its 770 million dollar box office success, including a re-release 3D version currently out in theaters.

But it did take over twenty-five writers to tell this story.

Twenty-five.

Beautiful Girls

Beautiful Girls

1996

Directed: Ted Demme

Writer: Scott Rosenberg

112 Minutes

Willie (Tomothy Hutton) found true love when he came back to his home town of Knights Ridge. His only problem was his true love was a thirteen-year-old, Lolita named Marty (Natalie Portman).

There we other women, including Willie’s fiancé Tracy (Annabeth Gish). There was Andrea (Uma Thurman) the most attractive, intelligent, and lovable visitor to enter this small town. And there were others before.

But none of them were Marty.

Marty was an “old soul,” who asks the questions for Willie. And though he is taken back by her comments, he realizes how priceless this young girl is. She will grow into a wonderful woman, a lover, and the dream long past, but never forgotten by William.

In the scene above, Willie signals Marty over after visiting friends in the ice fishing shack. After a certain back and forth about friends and adolescence boyfriends, Mary makes a comment about how Willie is her new boyfriend.

William laughs it off.

Marty marriage advice to Willie, “You should wait until you’re ready. You should wait until you meet someone that excites you.”

She is saying he should wait for her – wait five years.

Willie suggests that in five years, Mary won’t remember him. She has changes. She will grow up. And she will out-grow and forget him like Christopher Robin did with Winnie the Pooh.

That’s what happens when you grow up. You forget.

Willie would be ready and willing, if society allowed it. Marty is the girl he wished he met when he lived in Knight’s Ridge. She is funny, lovable, and accepts Willie for everything he is not.

But, he can never have her. He has to live in the present and five years is a lifetime for someone who has only lived thirteen.

They part ways, but that was their moment. It was a moment that they admit there is a flame between them, if only for a second. And now that it’s gone, Willie has to go back to figuring out his life.

That’s why Beautiful Girl is a terrific film: it’s about figuring shit out.

Willie has his old friends, a brother, and these women to help him find what life is about. They help him find the true meaning in this world and that is this:

"A beautiful girl can make you dizzy, like you've been drinking Jack and Coke all morning. She can make you feel high full of the single greatest commodity known to man - promise. Promise of a better day. Promise of a greater hope. Promise of a new tomorrow. This particular aura can be found in the gait of a beautiful girl. In her smile, in her soul, the way she makes every rotten little thing about life seem like it's going to be okay."

In the end, Beautiful Girls is about finding someone special and loving her until the end.

But there was always Marty and Winnie and Pooh.

Social Network

Social Network

2010

Director: David Fincher

Writers: Aaron Sorkin and Ben Mezrich

120 Minutes

Aaron Sorkin can write. David Fincher can direct. Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield and Justin Timberlake can act.

This film was amazing. It truly was.

The Social Network was based on the book, “Accidental Billionaires” by Ben Mezirch, who also wrote “Bringing Down the House,” which was turned into the film 21 starring Kevin Spacey.

But many were skeptical about filming the story of Facebook, the ultimate social networking website. Some questions, "who wants to see a film about Facebook?"

They were wrong.

This film was about these characters handling their raising success against an established college dorm friendship as much as it was about creation of Facebook. It was a struggle. It was a war. And it didn't go well.

In the end, every character was a millionaire. And some billionaires. It’s hard to feel bad for anyone that can buy a private jet or retire at twenty-five.

In the scene above, Mark Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg) has met Sean Parker (Justin Timberlake), the creator of Napster, in a club to talk about the potential of Facebook. Sean waited for Mark's best friend to be out of town to have Mark's exclusive ear and since Mark had always been taken by Mr. Parker, he listened well. Mark knew this “product” was a game changer, but it took Sean to explain how much of one.

“Napster wasn’t a failure. I changed the music industry for better and for always,” says Sean Parker. He was right. Napster was a game changer.

At one time or another, that’s what we all want: something that changes the world.

Sean Parker did. So did Mark Zuckerberg.

This is why this film is important. It’s about three young guys making an impact on the world. Hell, they changed the world. Today, Facebook has over 750 million users. It’s in almost every country in the world and continues to grow today.

Facebook was the ultimate game changer.

“A million dollars isn't cool, you know what's cool? A billion dollars.”

Sure, friendships ended. Yes, they screwed people over. And of course, they hurt people in the process.

But that is every business. That is government. That is corporations. That is the United States.

This film is the American Dream. Love it or leave it, but accept it as the creation of something used more than coffee is drank. And there are over 17,000 Starbucks in the world.

Like a said, a game changer.

Almost Famous

Almost Famous

2000

Writer: Cameron Crowe

Director: Cameron Crowe

122 Minutes

Cameron Crowe was of the youngest contributor for Rolling Stone Magazine, only sixteen years old, when he got the assignment to tour with the Altman Brothers.

This film’s main character was a young, fifteen year old boy named William Miller who gets a paid assignment with Rolling Stone Magazine to write about the band Stillwater.

The parallels are complete and twenty-seven years later, Crowe made a movie about his experience called Almost Famous. Yet, the movie stands the test of time reliving Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer,” and the side effects during an acid trip.

The film won a well-deserved Academy Award for best writing.

In the scene above, William has accepted his writing assignment, blessed by his controlling mother, and jumped in the car with the ultimate band-aid Penny Lane (Kate Hudson). When they take off on their journey, the cover of Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon is reflected in the windshield.

This is Crowe’s metaphor that William is crossing into the unknown world. It’s a world of adventure, drugs, and sex. It’s a world that will change him forever. It’s Rock and Roll.

The reflection goes quick, but it’s meaning lives on. William will be tested, trained, heartbroken, disillusioned, and inspired on his journey to write about his idols, Stillwater. He learns what happens to bands on the road from massive egos to failing airplanes to childhood crushes to utter disappointment.

But, it all starts here. It all starts by crossing into the Dark Side of the Moon.

"The only true currency in this bankrupt world are the moments you share with someone when you're uncool." - Lester Bangs (Philip Seymour Hoffman)

Cameron Crowe, you are William Miller. And we are better people for hearing your uncool, yet wonderful story.

Rocky

Rocky

1976

Director: John G. Avildsen

Writer: Sylvester Stallone

119 Minutes

A mildly successful boxer named Chuck Wepner fought Muhammad Ali in 1975 and went fifteen rounds before he was knocked out. A young Sylvester Stallone watched at home on this television.

This was a catalyst for the young actor/writer/director/producer.

Rocky was the first sports film to be nominated for Best Picture at the Academy Awards. That night, it took home Best Director, Best Editing, and Best Picture in addition to nominations for Actor, Actress, Supporting Actor, Supporting Actress, Original Song, Sound, and Writing.

It is one of the best films ever made.

But, there is more to Rocky than boxing. In fact, none of the six Rocky films are strictly about boxing. They are films about the struggle. In this first installment, Rocky (Sylvester Stallone) wants to be something in this world. He works for a low-end bookie, visits the pet store daily, and ignored by his trainer Mick (Burgess Meredith).

He has nothing.

In the scene above, Rocky and Adrain (Talia Shire) lay in bed together the night before the fight. Rocky mentions that if he could go fifteen rounds against the Heavy Weight Champion, Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers), then he would have made something of himself. If he could go fifteen rounds, he wouldn’t be a bum.

The entire movie rests in this scene because it’s not about winning and it’s not about money. It’s about making something of yourself. That’s why we love this film. We all want to make something of ourselves, if only fifteen rounds. Rocky knew it. He has humble goals, but they speak the truth.

And we, the audience, appreciate the truth.

In reality, the scene above is about Sylvester Stallone writing a great film and making something of himself. Rocky was his autobiography of a struggling actor. And the greatness of this man, scene, and film is Stallone he was given ONLY one take to complete it.

He was given one chance.

In life, that’s all we ever need. Rocky is a phenomenal film. It’s an underdog story. It’s a coming-of-age film. It’s the Best Picture of the year.

If you get one shot at greatness, don’t let it pass you by. Sylvester Stallone didn’t.

Secretariat

Secretariat

2010

Director Randall Wallace

Writers: Mike Rich and William Nack

123 Minutes

Some 37 years ago, a horse named Secretariat won the Triple Crown by 31 lengths and a run time of 2:24. He was the greatest horse that ever lived. And though it bares the name of this film, this story is not about a horse. It’s about a woman.

Penny Chenery.

Often times, women have to face the men in their lives. Penny Chenery (Diane Lane) knew that all too well. She came from a strong family, married a strong man, and when her family’s horse ranch came under fire, she was quick to be strong and save it. Yet, saving the farm meant challenging every men she ever met, right down to her own flesh and blood.

Patriarchal oppression.

It was a troubled time for the Cherney family, but they had a winning horse. Secretariat was named Horse of the Year and won sixteen individual races overall. Penny Chenery knew how special this horse was. She knew his history. She knew his potential, even though the men in and around her life questioned her to the bitter end.

She beat them all.

In the scene above, Penny has returned to her farm and asked about the sale of one of their horses by Trainer Earl Jansen (Graham McTavish). His plan was the sell this prized stallion to another farm, where then they would sell it for double its value.

When Penny questions him again, Earl talks down to her like it was her first time in a stable. But, she knows what she’s talking about. She knows the horse game. And she knows this trainer is a fraud and fires him on the stop.

This is the first test of many. For Penny, it was her against every man in the horse racing game. It was her against her father’s friends, trainers, other owners, siblings and even her husband. Everyone questions her. She even questioned herself.

Yet when it came to those three minutes, when Secretariat ran his race, no one was more right in the world than Penny Chenery.

She proved everyone wrong, rising above the rest like her house always did.

It was different times back then, but this world continues to need strong women like Penny Chenery. We need people to stand up for what they believe in, even when the world is telling you to give up.

We need the fight in folks.

Had Mrs. Chenery quit, we never would have known of a horse named Secretariat and the largest winning margin in horse racing history.

31 lengths. My god...

Little Miss Sunshine

Little Miss Sunshine

2006

Directors: Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris

Writer: Michael Arndt

101 Minutes

Three things happened to Little Miss Sunshine. One, writer Michael Arndt quit his job as Matthew Broderick’s assistant to write a story. Two, it took five years for this story to be made into a film. Three, the film grossed 100 million dollars and took home two Oscars, one for Mr. Arndt himself.

One would think an assistant who reads hundreds of scripts a week would have an idea that could put audiences in the seats. But, this story wasn't pretty.

More so, it seems illogical that a great, emotional, compelling story would take five years to make when it had no explosions or special effects or car chases. But, it might not have made money.

Yet, it did both. It was pretty and beneficial. Instant success. Little Miss Sunshine did well at the box office, great with the critics, and touched millions of Americans.

It’s because it was real.

From conversations about 'A la Mode' to plastic Burger King cups, Little Miss Sunshine is a true film about real people. We can relate because we know these characters. We know the emo kid who doesn’t talk. We’ve heard the judgmental father. And we love the outspoken grandfather.

We know them. We love them.

In the scene above, Dwayne (Paul Dano) and Frank (Steve Carell) talk outside the Little Miss Sunshine Beauty Contest. During a conversation about suffering, Dwayne says this:

“Fuck beauty contests. Life is one fucking beauty contest after another. School, then college, then work... Fuck that. And fuck the Air Force Academy. If I want to fly, I'll find a way to fly. You do what you love, and fuck the rest.”

That’s real talk.

This film is filled with moments of honesty and truth. Even Frank’s reply to Dwayne’s confession is, “glad you’re talking again, Dwayne. You’re not nearly as stupid as you look.” It’s funny, but also real.

Often times, life can be a beauty contest. Anyone that reads People or US Weekly can testify to what the popular kids are doing this week. Suburban neighborhoods are filled with expensive cars, huge mansions, and tapered lawns. And the amount of money we spend on clothes, shoes, or make-up could feed small countries for years to come. Like I said, life can be a beauty contest.

But when you get a film like Little Miss Sunshine, it all goes away. There is no competition in this film. There are only simple truths about the human condition. It was real and helped us escape the beauty contest we're all living in.

It’s why we watch films. It’s why this film did well. It puts everyone on an even playing field, capable of an emotional connection to fictional characters that represent ourselves.

We are all flawed, just like Frank and Dwayne. And we often want to say, “Fuck beauty contests.”

Little Miss Sunshine was a story that meant something. Often times in Hollywood, we rarely get a film that has a story. But, we need both. We need the explosions, special effects, and car chases. We need Michael Bay. Though, we need these pieces of art as well. We need stories that are true and honest, helping us understand ourselves with each frame that speeds by.

Michael Arndt deserved the Oscar for this film. He wrote something that made us feel, escaping the beauty contests of life. Within this medium, is there anything more real?

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

2001

Director: Kevin Smith

Writer: Kevin Smith

104 Minutes

This was the first film that Carrie Fisher and Mark Hamill had appeared in since Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi. The list continues with notable actors including Will Ferrell, Ben Affleck, Shannon Elizabeth, George Carlin, Tracy Morgan, Chris Rock, Seann William Scott, Judd Nelson, Shannen Doherty, Jason Lee, Joey Lauren Adams, and Alanis Morissette. Even without these bankable stars, the movie would have been enjoyable.

Because who doesn’t want to see Eliza Dushku and Ali Larter in leather.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is about Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) journeying across the country to stop a film being made about their alter egos Bluntman and Chronic.

It was supposed to be the final film in the View-Askew Universe. When Kevin Smith decided to make Clerks II, the universe once again was established. This universe is a series of inside jokes, movies references, and nods to characters and their dogs (Walt Flannigan). Being apart of the joke and knowing the people involved invites you into the Kevin Smith world that connects you to his life, reality, and humor. We are friends of Kevin because of these references.

We know him or feel like we do.

In the scene above, Jay and Silent Bob have hitched a ride and stop at a convenience store. The catalyst to this adventure was their arrest outside the Quick Stop convenience store where they sold drugs and were outspoken commentators. Once they are in front of *this* convenience store, they assume their normal position.

Something isn’t right.

They switch places, but it’s still off. It’s off because it’s *not* the Quick Stop. These two characters are out of their element. They are on the road. They are in another world, different than Jersey, and cannot accept the separation from their roots.

This is the entire film.

We watch films like Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back because we like to see two stoner characters in a different world, interacting with beautiful vixens, and causing havoc at every venue. It’s the fish out of water genre and Jay and Silent Bob flap around, yell obscenities, and steal monkeys.

For God Sake, they called Jason Biggs a pie-fucker.

It’s what makes these films great, but you have to know the world. Kevin Smith has a small army of loyal fans apart of it. We know about the girl who died in the YMCA pool, pillowpants, William “Snowball” Manchild, stink palms, Branky’s tracer complex, and the milkmaids.

Kevin Smith is a friend and makes movies for his friends. He has about 50 million of them. Probably more.

Jay and Silent Bob will never die. They live on with the DVD sales. But, there is something special about these two characters. It’s something real.

To end, Jay said it best: I hope one rips the other one's shirt off and we see some fuckin titties floppin around, yeah!

Like I said, something real.